Indicators Help Is Needed At Home

This is a difficult topic to talk about with your siblings and even more difficult to talk to mom.  You have to keep in mind that they have been doing the same routine for the last 50 years and as they age, the mind doesn’t accept the fact that they need assistance now or in the future.  It is our responsibility to make sure that they are always safe at home, and the diseases that they have are being managed so they are not in hospital.  There are many variables with these indicators.  Make sure if you live in close proximity to your loved one you set a standard of visiting at least every two weeks in the beginning.  Pick a day and make it special for them.  Maybe a lunch,  or take them out for a burger.  Believe me when I say it will become part of their routine and they will look forward to your visits.  During your visit you will need to assess them each time. While you're there you can offer to balance their checkbook which will allow you to assess their financial capabilities.  You could offer to throw on a load of laundry while assessing hygiene.   I thought it may be helpful to talk about some indicators that would definitely help you when deciding about the future safety of your loved one.

The first reason mom/dad may need some supervision or assistance would be due to physical reasons. Perhaps a recent injury or hospitalization where they can no longer perform some or all of the activities of daily living.  This is the easier of the two because mom realizes in her current situation that she requires assistance, and it’s much easier to convince when you explain that you can’t be there every day but you can get someone to come into her home to assist her on a temporary basis while healing and recovery takes place.  Also try to perform the assistance on the weekends as much as possible so you can evaluate her progress with recovery.  While watching mom walk with her walker back and forth to the bathroom safely, and supervising getting in and out of shower,  and even though her meals are prepared by the caregiver she would need to maintain safety with getting the meals and heating them to consume when left alone.  Also make sure her medication organizer is still filled and appropriately taken.  Really try to have her make her follow up doctor appointments when you can go with her to hear what the doctor has to say.  Not that we don’t believe them when they tell you it’s okay to return to certain of their activities and function independently, but sometimes they think they are ready before they are really ready.

The second reason mom/dad may need some assistance or supervision in their home would be from cognitive decline.  This is very challenging to convince them to have someone from the outside come into their home.  The same strategy applies for constantly making sure they are safe living alone.  With the memory issues, usually the first thing to decline would be the simple tasks with personal hygiene or tasks around the house.  If you go to visit one day and you can see that mom’s hair has not been combed, she is disheveled and you can smell a body odor, there may be a decline. The second indicator will be when asking mom about washing and she responds with “I did that already today”, there is a problem.  You can also go to where she puts her dirty clothes and you may find nothing.  With the decline sometimes there is confusion when taking clothes off and they put them back into the closet.  You will need to check her medication organizer to make sure she has taken her medication correctly and as ordered.  The other thing you really need to check is with her nutrition.  Check the refrigerator for old or outdated foods,  and check the microwave or dishes for evidence of burning while reheating.

There are many reliable trustworthy home care agencies that are willing to meet the needs of your loved one.  My suggestion is to start out slow with maybe a few days a week, and once a relationship has been developed you can slowly increase hours to meet your needs.      Medicare will pay for some home health hours after a hospitalization with a skilled need by the patient.  Medicaid, if you selected the right plan, will cover many more hours.  They offer personal care assistants and homemakers who perform more of the household chores.  There are some long term care policies that offer money that can be used for services at home.  If you or your spouse were a United States Veteran they have an Aid and Attendance program that can assist you with costs involved in homecare.  The last option is you also have the choice for private pay services with homecare agencies.